Show Me The CRAZY!!!!!!!

The honeymoon phase: the beginning of a relationship, which usually lasts at the most, the first four months. This is the time you meet a guy and everything is all good. You are putting on your best at this point because you have one tid bit of info you forgot to tell him: YOU ARE APE S!@* CRAZY!!!!!!!!

Yes you my friend are CRAZY!!!! But don't feel bad. I've come to the conclusion that every woman on earth is CRAZY some obviously more than others, but I digress. Anyways you are crazy and its coming out bit by bit. At what point do you show him the crazy?!?
I myself am finding this process very hard. Which lead me to ask: do you show a guy your crazy in the beginning and see if he accepts you or do you wait a while and spring it on him crossing your fingers that he will stay?

My personal story is that I am one that "walks to the beat of a different drummer" my best friend calls me an alien (not the illegal kind the ones from space.lol) anyways the point is I'm a little different. I swear sometimes I'm bipolar, I could possibly have multiple personalities that switch up by the second and I change my laugh more than I change my draws....but he doesn't know any of this. Is hiding my crazy really hiding who I am?
This question is the reason that I soon will be coming out of the crazy closet.lol. Because I feel like I'm hiding a part of my true self to him and he can never like me for me when he doesn't even know and accept the other side(s) of me. I guess I've toned it down and tried to be as normal as possible. I've found though that that normal ish is boring! I can't do it. Even if it scares him away I think its better that I start to release the quirky alien that I am :)
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F*!@ MY LIFE(.com)

Okay when I find websites I like, I'm the first one to shout them out so here are a few of the fml's of my new favorite past time website:

***Today, I was sitting next to the guy I like and he was doing homework. Then, he looks up, his eyes meeting mine. His smooth voice mutters my name as his face inches closer to mine. I can feel his minty breath against my face. My pulse is racing. Then, he says "What's a pronoun?" FML


***Today, is my boyfriend and my 3 year anniversary. We decided to give each other something that we really needed. I bought him the $300 worth of books that he needed for college. He surprised me with a workout video and exercise equipment. FML


***Today, I met a really cute guy at work. He asked for my number, and I wrote it down on a piece of paper. After looking at the paper, he crumpled it up, yelled "Do you think I'm stupid? I know the rejection hotline when I see it", and walked away. It was my real phone number. FML


I'm sorry but stuff like this CRACKS me up.

Check them out:
www.fmylife.com
www.twitter.com/fmylife



Also if ur super bored check out:
passiveaggressivenotes.com
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Paying for Her....

This is not a blog about having a guy pay for us (although that is always a good thing). This is a blog about how sometimes Us women end up paying for all the mistakes, screw ups and just f'd up things done by his Ex girlfriend(s).
We must first go over the extremely FRAGILE state of the male ego. A lot of people believe that women are the weaker of the two sexes....WRONG! It is true we can become psycho paranoid suicidal hot messes.coms lol. And we get hurt, we get lied to, cheated on, straight up played used and abused. BUT we get over it for the most part. We carry that weight for a little while. The smart ones learn from there mistakes. Usually us women can go from a bad situation and recover when the time is right then allow ourselves to be vulnerable enough to try another relationship out despite the possibility of being played again.
This is harder for men. Especially when they loved a girl that did them wrong. Once you've truly broken a mans' heart, it may take a lifetime to repair. He is now damaged goods. Sure he can enter another relationship but thanks to HER he can never give %100 to a new relationship.
This is when you are paying for her. Looking thru my old journal, I realized that I seem to always get those damaged goods. I, like some of you am a genuine, honest, trustworthy person of my word. I feel like a pretty good catch. But I feel like guys would treat me as if I couldn't be trusted and that's a total insult to me and my character.
So basically my point is for the guys reading this is to realize that we are not all alike. We're not all out to play you guys. That's all.
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Hey, we Tweet!

Hellos lovers, of Thatswhatshesaidladies. Well recently we've decided to expand our horizons a bit so you (our readers) can keep up with us. Now you can interact before we blog, give tips and suggestions. And if you're not on Twitter, you should be. Its kinda fun :)

www.twitter.com/shesaidladies

That's what she said!
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a blue line in a red sky

So my favorite movie in the whole wide world is Love Jones. If you have never seen it before u must. There is one particular poem that Nina [Nia Long ] says at the end of the movie. I thought id share it with you ...enjoy

It is the color of light,
The shape of sound high in the evergreens
It lies suspended in hills, 
A blue line in a red sky.

I am looking at sound.

I am hearing the brightness
Of high bluffs and almond trees
I am tasting the wilderness
of lakes, rivers, and streams
Caught in an angle of song.

I am remembering water
That glows in the dawn
The motion tumbled in earth
Life hidden in mounds.

I am dancing a bright beam of light

I am remembering love.

thats what she said

Brick Walls

The hardest walls to break are the ones we build ourselves. And I don't know about everyone else's wall, but mines is old and super sturdy....
So when I like someone it makes it that much harder for them to truly like me back. The worse part is I know the problem and I know the solution and yet still this wall is not chipping away like I want it to.
I guess the whole wall is up in the first place as a defense mechanism. I put this wall up, nobody gets close to me, I don't get hurt. End of story....BUT who really wins in that situation? Not I.
And so now its time I realized recently to finally get out the sturdiest of hammers and face a challenge I've never really faced before: breaking down that damned wall! That wall is my security blanket.
It is my excuse for when things don't go right....and things don't go right because of it! I guess the fear of actual rejection is what scares me the most. Without that wall, I'm exposed. If he doesn't like me what do I blame it on? But how can he really like me with the wall between us?

Its scary, but I need to do it. For my own happiness.
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Numbers Game Again

Ive really been thinking about this and I began to wonder what is an "okay" or "average" number to have. I know alot of people with lots of different experiences, some who are still virgins, but I wonder what most people who are 21-22 have as there number. (if you don't know what number I'm talking about check the previous post)

What I'm even more curious about is what that number is for guys. We all know a double standard exists and whether we want to admit it or not its "ok" for guys to have more partners than girls. 

That being said, Im asking that people anonymously post their numbers and their sex (m/f), I think this could lead to some interesting findings....DONT BE SHY PEOPLES...

thats what she said 

And This is Why We Call it Birdville

please back up off my man trey LOL, I thought the video was funny

Honesty is the Best Policy

I had a very interesting weekend. I chilled with a man friend of mine (who happens to read this blog!!) and we talked about music, sex, relationships, and our current boy/girl situations. Good times.



To be honest, we used to talk last year but we kinda fell apart because I got really stressed with juggling my internship and school work. Plus, the distance made it more difficult to keep in contact. But he is a great guy that I really did like. What I liked the most about him was his honesty. He always kept it funky from the beginning. For example, he told me that he was messing with a girl at his school when we were talking. His honesty was refreshing because I knew what to expect from him..I knew the limits...so he never disappointed me and my feelings were never hurt. I was confident in him liking me because he wouldn't lie about it. Some referred to him as an "asshole", actually he referred to himself as such, but I would rather him be that than a liar.



Now I'm involved with a guy (who doesn't read the blog) who I don't think is very honest. Actually, he is a liar. But I can't judge him because I have definitely lied to him before. But to be honest, I wish honesty was something that we had established in the beginning of our "friendship". Instead when we are together, we live in this fantasy world like its just the two of us when we know its not. I wish we were honest with each other. Now I get headaches because I have to assess everything he does to find some truth. If we had honesty, we would have limits instead of fantasies and feelings wouldn't be hurt, and there would be no disappointments.



Honestly, the truth does hurt. But, I miss that honesty. I need it. I appreciate it. Because when its the truth you want to hear...u don't doubt it for a second..and you r finally happy and secure. When he tells you he wants to be with you...he means it 110 percent.



That's what she said...

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Dude Wtf ?!?

So I had to vent this stupid ish to get it off my chest. Maybe next week this will be a funny story but right now it just makes me fume even thinking about it. And yes I'm a tad dramatic but you'd be pissed too.....and the story goes:

Last week on my way home at 1O pm, I got a seemingly urgent phone call from a male friend that I don't even speak to that often. He said that he needed me to come over to his house because he had some girl issues that he desperately needed help with that night.

Being the good friend that I am I tried my best to just get him to tell me over the phone what the issue was...but he claimed that this matter needed to be dealt with in person and that if I came he'd even give me gas money for my troubles.

Now the nosy side of me began to kick in so I said I'd come BUT only staying no more than ten minutes. I'm like maybe he got somebody pregnant, maybe he got some std or maybe even killed a hooker for all I know.lol

I get there and his sorry behind sits at the table and had the AUDACITY to ask me and I quote: " What does it mean when a girl you're with looks at another guy while with you?". At this point I'm BOILING MAD! Like who does that? How gay was that? Who cares? Why was it that serious? Why would he ever waste my time? Why the F would I care? Those were the things that came to my mind along with a few choice words for him.

So still being the friend that I am I gave him an answer to his raggedy question and I said " she probably: SLEPT WITH HIM or WANTED TO SLEEP WITH HIM . Yeah I said that. And then I took my money he owed ( raggedy 3 dollars) and left.

So why would a person be so evil and waste my time/life like that? This may be mean of me but should I stop being his friend for good???

(side note two times we've gone out (not like that) but both times I drove and both times I left him. )
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The Beauty of Pain

We've all heard the saying that Pain is Beauty. Well in a recent case of writers block....or should I say Bloggers Block, I realized why I haven't been able to crank out a blog good enough for me to actually post.... Its because I've been relatively happy lately.
It seems when I'm having guy issues, money issues, just life issues in general is when my creativity level is at A thousand...but now that I feel things are under control, I haven't gotten any bad news and I can't complain about a man right now ,I'm lacking in the inspiration department.
Think about it, why do us ladies love some Keyshia Cole and May J blige? Because they connect to us through the pain that we've all felt. This pain is our common denominator. Now we like love songs and happy songs but NOTHING beats a "my man did me wrong song" lol. And many artists reach their greatest creatice peak during times of extreme depression (ex: Picasso).

Now while I'm elated that I am happy in life right now, I am also finding it harder to write blogs.lol. I guess I can make happier posts but I don't wanna feel all preachy. So there might be a slight change in my posts for now....at least until someones pisses me off!


-thats what she said
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The Numbers Game

During an interesting car ride to New York an ummm "interesting" topic arose that was heavily debated on. That uh issue is " the number". What number you ask? THE number. The infamous list one must face at some point in life....let's just call it the Black List.

So I realized my number is not as low as I thought....but NO its not out of control high either....and my friends are the same way (yeah I had to add them). So we made up a few rules and philosophies about why our number game is what it is.

1. If you compare the amount that we slept with to the amount we couldve slept with but didn't. Then the number is significantly lower....comparatively speaking. For example, if about 250 guys wanted to and tried to sleep with you but you've only slept with 13 (not my number) then you've done pretty good....relatively speaking of course
2. We are pretty girls, bottom line: we have more options. So basically we've used our resources.lol.
3. We are not "girlfriends". We haven't really done the relationship thing. So in place of having one consistent person, we've I guess been testing the waters.lol.
4. If you divide the ratio of the men we've been with over the years since we've started having sex, then on an average there were no more than 3 and year.lol
5. We've got some "technicals" that we won't count, for example one of my friends said if it was under 2 mins it didn't count...I have a few others...but truthfully some just don't count.

The only solutions that we have in order to keep our numbers from rising is: 1. Recycle our old boos...or 2. Either marry an old boo or add one number and marry that one.

What's a girl to do? So there will be no new ones for me for a loooonnng time. Lol. But you know the saying: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!!!!!! Well we've had our fun, guess its time to slow it down now.

Don't Want No Robocop

When Opposites Attract

Walk around the mall or take a look at the couples at the movies and what do you notice, it is few and far between to find a good looking guy and a good looking woman in a relationship together. 

Here's my theory as to why. 

Attractive men are used to being picked up by girls. As early as middle school they were the cute boy that all the girls liked and flocked to. The girls they ended up with were the girls who pursued them the most and made them feel the best about themselves. This middle school early high school stage is when this young man would have otherwise been developing his "game". However, this never became nessacary for him because the girls did all the work for him all he had to do was sit back and be cute. 

On the other side of the hallways the same thing was happening to the pretty little girls in the class. All the boys were chasing them around gassing their heads about how pretty they are. These "pretty" girls never had to develop the wit and skills nessacary to find a guy and keep his interest. 

So at the end of the day, the attractive guys are used to the relationship being all about them and have no game to pick up women while the pretty girls want it to be all about them and have no desire to go after guys

OF COURSE there are exceptions to these findings and those exceptions usually come in the form of late bloomers. If you didn't become "cute" until senior year of highschool or after you are in luck, you still have the game you learned in your not so cute days and now you have the looks to go along with it.

Just something that I've been noticing

thats what she said

I know I'm hatin in the picture but I just can't help it

Just be thoughtful.

Last week, I spoke to a friend who gave me some great advice. First, he told me that I need to learn how to cook because the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Please believe I was on www.amazon.com trying to find the best cookbook to purchase. I figured I also needed to learn how to cook Jamaican food even though I don't care for it. Too many boys out there are saying that they like oxtail ;) 

But wait...I don't want a man. At least, I don't think so. Yet, I was very eager to go online and purchase a cookbook so I can learn how to cook for "my man".. Interesting? Who the hell am I cooking for in the first place?  I told him "i can't cook..why can't we just order take-out?".  He said it isn't about the actual food. He said it is about the "thought". The idea that a girl put in all that work into trying to make him smile. I guess this girl's "thoughtfulness" influenced him so much that he forgot that he hated feet and gave her a foot massage without her asking him to. 

The point of the story is this...be thoughtful (also learn how to cook). Try to make someone you like smile. Do something for them that you wouldn't do for anyone else. You don't have to spend money on them  but do something that shows them that you think and care about them. Most importantly, if he cares for you just as much as you care for him, then your hard work will be reciprocated. If he doesn't feel the same desire to make you smile, then leave him alone. 

At the end of the day, I don't think I am looking for a man. Instead, I just want someone who will make me smile. Someone who is genuinely thoughtful. It makes him happy to know that I am happy.

Most importantly, I want someone that I can make smile.  

...thats what she said.