Wednesday, May 20, 2009
I like this guy and he says he likes me too! He's really nice, a sweetheart; I light up when I'm around him, talking to him, or even thinking about him. He makes me happy and he says i make him happy too! Everything seems to be going along very well... And guess what?!? I have no complaints! LOL!
With us things are very simple and uncomplicated. I love spending time with him - truth be told, he can always make me smile. Now whats the point of all of this, only to say: DON'T SETTLE! If you are looking for something in particular dont settle for less than that. I was craving real, honest happiness and I finally found it. Now that doesnt mean this current relationship is the end all be all but like the song says "... if not, you are the prototype". Now that I have happiness, I can't accept anything else.
Now I'm not advocating that you leave current/future relationships for any small thing, but if it's impotant to you than you should make sure you have it. As for me, I can't wait for this relationship to develop further, I'm so excited to see where it goes.
Singing Ashanti "I'm so happy" lol
That's what she said...
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy I thought you'd want the same for me
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy
to walk right in and out of my life?
I don't know why but this song was on my mind today. I've loved this song since the first time I heard it and for my life I find this song to be so true.
Which got me wondering which one is more painful: ending a relationship with an ACTUAL lover, or: ending things with an ALMOST lover.
Well since I only have expertise on ALMOST lovers I believe I'm biased to choose the latter. Real break ups, I imagine are hard. But I feel like the love that once was shared kind of numbs some of the pain because there was a point in time when love was present between the two parties.
Now ALMOST lovers are different. These things are messy and usually never a 50/50 love (that Teddy Pendergrass sings of) . Usually one party (the female) is under the impression that things are more than what it actually is. She has developed true feelings for him. She has invested her time and care....and sometimes love to the (pseudo)relationship. All the while the "relationship" is always on eggshells because at any given moment he can up and leave, he can date whoever, he can do his own thing and guess what? You can't do ANYTHING about it because you are not his girlfriend.
So when things don't work out, the pain is immense and typically there will always be unanswered questions.
But I digress, anyways the point is Almost Love is a tricky thing. I try now to stay away from it. But, if he like it then he shoulda put a ring (okay at least a TITLE) on it!
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I envied her for a second because I wished that I felt the same way. I love happiness, I love freedom, I love long walks on the beach (really) but I don't necessarily love LOVE. Indeed I am interested in the topic of love, I'm infatuated at times with the idea and I am extremely curious about every aspect of love but I am not in love with love.
So what exactly does that make me? And what exactly does that mean for my future love life? Does it mean I am not capable to love to the full capacity? Or am I just being dramatic again?!?
Well there were two main differences between my friend with whom I conversed briefly with about it: she had a boyfriend . I didn't (usually don't). And now that I think about it I am afraid to some degree of falling in love. And maybe that fear is the thing hindering me from being a hopeless romantic. Until I get over it or until someone eases that fear, I will be. Probably be a hopeless NoMantic.
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