Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Hopeless No(man)tic

She said she was a Hopeless Romantic. Me being the cynical Miranda that I find myself being occasionally (Sex and the City), I asked what the "hell is a hopeless romantic?" And she replied: " A hopeless romantic is someone who loves love, the idea of love, the acts of love, just everything to do with love". That was the end of the conversation, and the beginning of my own deep (or shallow.whatever) thoughts.
I envied her for a second because I wished that I felt the same way. I love happiness, I love freedom, I love long walks on the beach (really) but I don't necessarily love LOVE. Indeed I am interested in the topic of love, I'm infatuated at times with the idea and I am extremely curious about every aspect of love but I am not in love with love.
So what exactly does that make me? And what exactly does that mean for my future love life? Does it mean I am not capable to love to the full capacity? Or am I just being dramatic again?!?

Well there were two main differences between my friend with whom I conversed briefly with about it: she had a boyfriend . I didn't (usually don't). And now that I think about it I am afraid to some degree of falling in love. And maybe that fear is the thing hindering me from being a hopeless romantic. Until I get over it or until someone eases that fear, I will be. Probably be a hopeless NoMantic.
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