Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Brick Walls

The hardest walls to break are the ones we build ourselves. And I don't know about everyone else's wall, but mines is old and super sturdy....
So when I like someone it makes it that much harder for them to truly like me back. The worse part is I know the problem and I know the solution and yet still this wall is not chipping away like I want it to.
I guess the whole wall is up in the first place as a defense mechanism. I put this wall up, nobody gets close to me, I don't get hurt. End of story....BUT who really wins in that situation? Not I.
And so now its time I realized recently to finally get out the sturdiest of hammers and face a challenge I've never really faced before: breaking down that damned wall! That wall is my security blanket.
It is my excuse for when things don't go right....and things don't go right because of it! I guess the fear of actual rejection is what scares me the most. Without that wall, I'm exposed. If he doesn't like me what do I blame it on? But how can he really like me with the wall between us?

Its scary, but I need to do it. For my own happiness.
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