True Life: She's Just Not That Into You

So last week I met this guy. Immediately I was attracted to him, he was REALLY cute, lets call him X. We ended up exchanging numbers and talking for a few days. By like the third day he asked if he and his friend could stop by to say hello, so I said sure.

As soon as he walked through the door something was off to me. I'm very particular about what I like and I know it when I see it. So its not that he wasn't cute anymore I just knew at that time he WAS NOT my type. 

Anyways, I say hello and head for the couch to sit down. He sits next to me and after about 35 seconds I text my friend who is also sitting in the room. The text message reads: "I don't like him anymore". However, I accidentally sent the message to X. As soon as I realized the mistake I made my mouth dropped and I immediately reached across and tried to grab his phone and plead with him to let me erase the message I accidentally sent him. He said no, so me being the punk I am, ran upstairs and hid my embarrassed face in a pillow lol.

About 30 seconds later he comes upstairs and gives me my phone while saying "I'm going to give you a few minutes to get your lies together"

In the meantime my friends are clueless as to what just happened and as I text them the situation (from upstairs) I can hear them hold back their laughter. 

So I stayed upstairs for another 5 minutes hoping he would leave and I wouldn't have to face the situation...I was wrong

He came back upstairs a few minutes and says "you're lucky I'm not insecure or else I would have thought you were talking about me".

I guess that was a good way for him to play it off, I guess, and I guess that the akward lies I said to go along with what he already assumed in his mind we're convincing, I guess, and I guess the forced conversation that we had for the next 20 minutes until he finally left could leave him convinced that I wasn't talking about him, I guess, but I'm also guessing that when he sees this post he'll know what's up

P.s.

double check those texts ladies

thats what she said 

I'm the best thing that ever happened to you

Ladies, I want to conduct an experiment.

Background:  I met this guy in December and he seems pretty cool. But i never paid him much attention until now. I knew that he had a nice car and a job..and he was decent looking from what I can remember. But, I started becoming interested in him when I finally accepted his friend request on MySpace. I went through his page, pictures, and videos. Even though he was still decent looking, I realized he was some hood ni**a who never left his six block radius. I usually try to stay away from the hood tyoes now because I always end up finding the crazy ones. Two of them ended up in jail for attempted murder. But anyway, he had the usual pictures and videos of him counting his money and showing off his jewelry. Now this may be the "bird" in me and/or "gold-digger" (Pick which ever one you find applicable), but I decided to enhance communication with this guy and upgrade from text messages to phone calls. After a couple of phone calls, I figured that he was a really nice and funny.  I decided to give him some of my time. Anyway, i don't want him for his money. 'Cuz I have my own. But it wouldn't hurt to spend someone else's for a change.

Objective: This study will examine how to make a guy realize that you are the best thing to ever happen to him.

Hypothesis: By broadening his horizons, eliminating his insecurities, and doing stuff for him that no other girl has ever done for him, you will make him think that you are the best thing to ever happen to him. 

Methods: Like I said, this is some hood n***a who never left his six block radius. But he does look like he has potential to be upgraded. After talking to him, I found out that our b-days were 2 days apart. I told him that I would take him out to dinner for his birthday. He said " really? that would be the first!" He sounded so surprise. "Well thats because you talk to birds." He said that I sounded like a keeper. (+1). Anyway, I told him I would take him somewhere chic...some good authentic Japanese Habachi place or some french bistro. I realized I had to introduce him to something classy-something no one has ever probably done for him. 

Analysis: By spending money on him first, he probably wouldn't assume that you are a gold digger. Actually, he will think you are a generous person. As a result, he wouldn't mind spoiling you cuz he thinks you would do it for him and you are unlike the other bird heads that he talks to. 

Results: Well this is an on going study and once I find some more hood ni***as, this will become a cross sectional study. Stay tuned....Well thats what she said...

Regards, 

-Samantha Jones