Wednesday, April 1, 2009


This morning a male friend and I had a discussion which left me disheartened, upset, and hurt. Every Sunday he has a gathering at his house: drinking, movies, games, you know, the basics. Now this past weekend he and a young lady who came by began talking and she shared with him that she enjoyed his video blog because it shows his appreciation for dark skinned women. She then goes on to say that she has always felt ugly and till this day hates her complection and this hatred coupled with issues that were burdening her caused her to attempt suicide a little over a month ago. She has tried bleaching her skin with creams, pouring bleach on herself and consulting physicians on possible ways to lighten her skin, if only just one shade. Now i know that her situation may appear extreme, but her hatred and resentment for herself are sentiments shared by many dark skinned women nation wide.

I could easily sit here and tell you that I have always loved the skin that I am in, but it would be a lie. As one of five Black girls at my Catholic School, let alone the only dark skinned one, Midnight, Darkness, and NightSkin, became my first name and everytime I heard it I yearned to be beautiful, yearned to be accepted, but most importantly, yearned to be light skin. I think that I finally came out of this mind set around the 7th grade when I realized that I couldn't change my color but i was still cute and if I loved the skin that I was in others would learn to love it as well.

For a lack of a better word, it sucks! It sucks that women should feel inadequate and ugly solely because of being dark, it sucks that society(BLACK SOCIETY) further perpetuates this false ideology, and it blows that unfortunately I do not see these beliefs changing any time soon. It hurts me to know that till this day women are fighting and hating themselves because of a little extra melanin. As Black women we have to realize that guess what, we're beautiful, and it is our variation in hues that make our people so unique. So F the haters, damn the men that tell you that your sexy for a dark skin girl, and to hell with anyone who thinks your not hot!

Get up, stand in front of the mirror, and kiss your reflection because no one will love you until you learn to love yourself. Dark skin an all.

thats what she said.

1 comment:

  1. I really love this post.

    Everyone struggles with self-esteem issues whether we admit it or not. I tutor teens and when talking to one of the teenage girls yesterday she was telling me how her mother calls her fat and puts her down. She said it doesn't bother her one bit because everyday she wakes up in the morning looks in the mirror and says to herself, "you're beautiful, you're perfect". I think there's so much to be said about that, and I think that is something we all should do. If we do it long enough we will really start to believe it.

    Remember you are not beautiful "TOO", you are beautiful point blank period.