Sunday, May 3, 2009

What Do You Expect !?!

     As we all know the world of dating is confusing, which brings me to todays topic: EXPECTATIONS. Especially in the beginning, is there a certain amount that one should have in order to not get heart broken???
    You meet a guy, he's cute, you like him. You've spoken on the phone, text all the time and you're feeling good about this one. Now its time to spend some one on one personal time (that q.t) what level of expectations should you have for this? I know alot of people go in with low expectations reasoning that anything better than what they expected is a success. Some people have higher expectations hoping that that person will fulfill them....often times they DONT. And of course some people try the NO expectations, expecting nothing and taking a 50/50 chance of success or failure.
   Now lets take time now to decipher which one does/doesnt make the most sense. Option one: Go on dates with low expectations. The pros of this one is anything above what you expected is considered a good thing. The problem of this one is, well lets take this to the laws of attraction, which basically is saying what you expect is what you get/attract. If you are aiming low then usually that is what you will receive. Also as far as that relationship goes, its kinda already off to the wrong start because you already had low expectations for it. Of course there will be instances in which they will greatly exceed what you thought. So bottomline, i dont think going out with low expectations is a good thing.
     Okay so on to the next: going out with high expectations. The pros of this is you are coming into the situation with a good attitude and this might set a good chain reaction of events. Now the cons of this one is depending on how high your setting your expectations. You may have in your mind based on the phone calls and texts etc that this person is perfect for you and in person you may notice that he has a few flaws you werent aware of.  Because your expectations were so high, even the little things bother you. Or you may have played out the entire date perfectly in your head and the actual night didnt go as planned leaving you with ill feelings toward that person. Anyways , in dating high expectations can be a good thing but it is important to realize that no one is perfect.
     And finally, the no expectations route. This one is hard to do because its natural to have some type of how things will end up either good or bad. With this approach your going in with no judgement and no predisposed ideas of what things will be just going and taking it moment by moment. I think this is the best way because this way there's no pressure and little disappointment. You are just taking everything for what it is whether good or bad. But it is extremely hard to do especially with someone you like because in you're head you usually have an outcome in mind. Lets try just living in the moment and taking things for what they are. Im gonna try this starting today because i've been down both the high and low expectations roads and have been disappointed many a time. Lets see how this goes........

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