Forgiveness is a topic that has been coming up pretty frequently lately. For some reason I find myself asking for forgiveness as well as being asked for it. It's strange how I can want someone to forgive me but be reluctant to forgive others.
The other day I was asked to forgive someone for literally years of pain and hurt. As much as I wanted to forgive them I found myself not being able to do wholeheartedly. How in the hell can anyone expect to just be forgiven within one phone conversation?! It actually upset me a little that I was even being asked to let everything go right then and there - I sort of took offense to it. After all this time, I had dealt with things in my own way and was dealing with the situation just fine. Now because the person wants to apologize I should just say all is forgiven? I'm not really down with that.
I'm struggling with the fact that life is short and that I cannot fully move on without forgiven this person. But when you feel hurt to your core it's kind of hard to just let it go that easily. I honestly would love to forgive this person. I have asked for the same many MANY times in my life and am very grateful that I was granted forgiveness. I know how much I wanted to be forgiven and able to re-establish a relationship. Unfortunately I don't think I'm ready to fully forgive, I try to act like the situation doesn't affect me but I never stopped hurting. I just hope one day I'll find it in my heart to let it all go...
That's what she said
